When we talk about inequality or discrimination, we often picture the big things such as unfair laws, pay gaps, or global systems of privilege. The truth is that those massive structures are built from something smaller: everyday moments embedded in ordinary language and behavior. These small moments are called microaggressions.

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Understanding Microaggressions

Microaggressions are the everyday ways bias shows up in our interactions. They include subtle, often unintentional comments or actions that make someone feel excluded based on race, gender, disability, sexual orientation, or culture. Unlike open discrimination, most microaggressions hide behind casual language or polite behavior. They are the offhand remarks or reactions that reveal unconscious bias — such as a teacher being surprised that a student of color speaks fluent English, or people clutching their bags when a Black man walks by.

However, psychologist Dr. Derald Wing Sue reminds us that microaggressions exist on a continuum, ranging from deliberate acts of discrimination to unconscious patterns of exclusion.

At one end are microassaults, which are direct and intentional, similar to old-fashioned racism. They happen when someone intentionally behaves in a prejudiced way, even if they later claim, “I was just joking.”

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Examples:

Making a racial joke or using a slur, then excusing it as humor.
Saying “That is so gay” to mean something is bad or weird, unaware that the phrase is homophobic and offensive.

In the middle are microinsults, subtle comments that communicate disrespect. They often sound like compliments but reveal hidden stereotypes.

Examples:

Asking a colleague of color, “How did you get this job?” implying they received special treatment.
Telling an Asian American, “You speak good English.” It sounds positive but suggests that Asian people are expected to struggle with the language.
At the other end are microinvalidations, the most hidden form, where someone’s identity or experience is dismissed.

Examples:
Saying “I do not see color”
Telling a woman she is “too sensitive,” which downplays her emotions and reinforces gender stereotypes
Assuming a Black man is dangerous simply because of stereotypes.

Most microaggressions fall into the subtle or unconscious categories, but all of them — deliberate or not — have a lasting effect. They make people feel unseen, unwelcome, or unsafe, and over time, they reinforce larger systems of inequality.

Why Understanding Microaggressions Matters

They reveal hidden bias.
Prejudice is not always loud. Sometimes it comes disguised as a compliment with a sting. Learning to spot it helps you unlearn bias and call it out when needed.
They protect emotional health.
Studies show that microaggressions trigger stress hormones, anxiety, and even burnout. Recognizing them helps create safer spaces online, in school, and in friendships.
They build empathy and emotional intelligence.
It is not about being perfectly correct. It is about caring enough to reflect. Awareness strengthens your ability to listen and connect across differences.
They shape your influence.
Whether you are leading a team, creating content, or moderating a group chat, your words set the tone. Knowing how microaggressions work makes you a better communicator and ally.

In short, learning about microaggressions is not about censorship. It is about communication that connects instead of divides.

When someone says something that feels racist, sexist, or dismissive, the impact matters more than the label. It is important to remember that everyone is capable of committing microaggressions. Making a mistake does not make a person bad, but refusing to reflect on it can cause harm. What matters is developing awareness of how our words and actions affect others. When we take responsibility for our impact, even when our intent was innocent, we move closer to creating a more thoughtful and inclusive world.